Monday, May 18, 2009

It struck me

It’s been two years since I moved to Kaye Residence and I still haven't feel like I’m home. In the morning I would wake up on my bed and wonder where I am. I know for certain many people would kill to be in my shoes. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for this lovely house and all its luxury. Somehow it just doesn't feel like home well at least not until now.

 

Almost everyday I wondered the streets of KL and PJ running errands, going to my French classes and sometimes just well… wonder around. I will visit my favorite restaurants or malls, eat my favorite food and occasionally meet up with my friends for drinks.

 

Times had changed I used to do so many things with my friends especially watching movies but now I am reduced to watching good movies alone, eat alone and doing many things alone. Yes I’m a bit sad but I can’t blame anyone because everyone has his or her own new life now. Me? I think I’m still holding on to my past, never really accepted that I had long left the KL life and house I used to have which by the way answered the question why Kaye Residence doesn’t feel like home.

 

These realization or rather exception occurs to me when I was out at the mini mart near my house. As I was walking towards my car I gaze upon the empty plot of land opposite the mini mart. The sky was really beautiful that day, great blue skies with cotton white clouds. At this precise moment I realized that I am here at this place. I’m home. It may not be as it used to be for me with friends around and malls to loom about but this is home. I have to learn to except that I have to be here and I belong here or else I will still be lost and holding on to things I that know are falling apart. It struck me; everyone I know has a different new life now. I should start mine too.