Artistic Photoshot

I know that somehow this photo is a bit intriguing and somehow a bit doggy to the extend of gayness. Yes i know it all but somehow i am in my artistic mode at the moment so hahha i dont care. Time to do something out of the ordinary. Other than this picture i am planning to do a few series of other themed photos. Look out for it on my blog ya. Thanks!

medieval painting?

Barbaric

These are photos sent to me by my friend showing some "humans" eating babies and cutting them before processing them into food. What kind of human beings would do this to dead babies. So Barbaric.

Prime, Le Meridien

Last week while I had my super compulsive syndrome at hand (as usual), I made my way to one of the many Le Meridien restaurants, Prime. It is a place which serves imported steaks and wine with the motto; The American “Prime Grill, Prime Wine, Prime Time”. I arrived there without any reservations wearing simply my grey Sisley sweater, a blue striped Topman singlet, Banana Republic pants and my gold+white Nike. Heads turns, being me; used to turning heads, I ignored. People there were dressed to kill, perfect suits and opulent dresses, even toddlers were dressed in Kenzo or at least Ralph Laurents. Strangely I don't feel out of place, maybe because to me as long as you can pay the bills, you are alright.

the restaurant

I was seated at the waiting area while my table were being prepared and I made specific descriptions of where I should be seated, dark, semi private, and shield from the public view. I love my privacy. While waiting, I browsed the menu and wine list. Damn they are good!

I was seated at an oval shaped two seater table at a corner with semi enclosed oval wall. It’s perfect. Somehow I can’t help noticing that the waitresses were giggling and whispering to each other while looking at me, some of them were even trying to steal a look at me. Yup I guess they were flirting with me. hahahahah what can I say, a good looking young man with confidence (perasan) is having dinner alone in a posh restaurant; I’m sure they are labelling me as "opportunity".

I ordered Kimberly 150 days red grained feed Australian Rib Eye with truffle sauce and asparagus. The wine was tempting but I don’t drink so I skipped to stilled Panna instead. They served me spicy focacia bread and sun flower seeded bread with interesting 3 choices of butter; green tea, salted and sour. YUM! No appetizer for me since I love the breads very much.

the steak and bread

Suddenly I saw her, those red thick lips, that hair, that walk, that look. It’s Ainul, baby as I had always called her. She is as pretty as ever, as radiant and sexy even with that ugly corseted uniform she was wearing. Damn!

She made her way to me, delivering my dinner. OMG she didn't notice me until " Sir this is Kimberly...." and there we were smiling at each other like mad. She was so happy to see me her eyes was watery. We had a short conversation. I had my dinner and was leaving, then she came, whispered in my ear, rubbed my tummy like she used to and looked at me with that smile, “i will call you". At that point, the other waitresses were staring at us in disbelieve and envy hahahhaha. (Yup... I am in trouble!)

The rest of the night is history. :-)

p/s: Prime is not for the faint hearted men, if their smoking hot waitresses don't give you a heart attack the bill will surely do. hahahha.

That perfect ARMCHAIR

Today while shopping for some stuffs in KL i found the perfect armchair for my house. Its so nice. the color, the shape, the texture. PERFECT. Now i just need to convince the banker to invest in it.

Yet another dream

I had always imagined about how my mid 20's would be. Living alone in a flat with simple but chic interior. Having coffee in a coffee shop while reading my newest book every afternoon. Come home, cook dinner and bake my desert and bread for the next morning. Start painting again in my workshop and designing my own home furnishing brand. Go to gym and visit the orphanage while dropping off some cakes and biscuits I baked the night before. I would visit my cafe, managing the staffs while figuring out new promotions and menu for the cafe.

Every other day I would go out with my girl and catch a movie, cook her dinner and take a walk on the beach or park. I would go to my parent's house and have dinner every weekend. I would hang out with my friends, visit my God father and have interesting conversations.

Every week I would take my nephews out for some grocery shopping and let them play with my cat named KAT (short for KATHY). I would also study for my second degree in interior design while going for a part time course in cooking and business. I would try to help my parents with my two little sister’s educations.

Yes this is how I imagine my mid 20's would be. I almost have it all but life is really a strange thing, when you thought you almost have it all; it’s all gone. Papa and Krystyn are right, I am a man and I cannot afford to break down so often. The only reason I am writing all this today is because I wanted to remind myself of my own dreams, my ambition, and the way of life I had planned since I was a boy.

I know I have a long way to go before I have all this and maybe I would not achieve it by my 25th birthday but I am certain to work for it. There is no point of wanting something without working for it. I started to paint, bake and design the remaining portion of Kaye Residence. I managed to get her attention again. I got two dozen cupcakes order from my neighbour to fulfil this weekend, finding cooking and interior design school as well. It’s a start. I hope everything would turn out ok.

Excuse me.

I had to admit that the only reason why I did not post anything on this blog all this while is because I’m distancing my self. I haven’t been my self lately, mounted feelings. I kept on thinking why I should update my blog? Why should I bother to care to write? Yes I’m angry and I am sad. Why? I feel like a creep, writing crap in monotonous tone of chirpiness. Fuck, why should I pretend to be happy when I’m not?

Yes I am not happy. I am not happy with work, with my self, my weight; my freaking messed up houses, the way I look, the way i write, etc. To sum it all I’m not happy at all and I’m trying freaking hard to be happy but I’m not.

So what if some whack said I am one ungrateful person, having all that I have and still unhappy. How can I be happy? Tell me, how can I be happy when all my life I was never able to do things that makes me truly happy, never to follow my own ambition, scared to eat that extra food coz people freaking comment on my 0.5kg weight gain, telling me how ugly I am all the time regardless the efforts I put to look good, never once feel special about my self. Soon to be locked away in that 7ft barbed wired, photo-beamed prison.

Until i can cope with all these madness again i will not post. I need some time to find peace again.

JJ's 18th Birthday

Finally i feel like writing again. On the 23rd of June my God brother, JJ; celebrated his 18th birthday. These are some pics i took. Happy birthday JJ, now you are a big boy!