Akuarium dan ikan ku sayang

I’m a bit crazy today so I’m going to write in BM instead.

Ini akuarium ku, didalamnya ada 3 ekor ikan emas yang ku beri nama “porky, piggy dan bacon”. Mereka sangat comel dan menghiburkan hatiku. Detik-detik ketika aku gusar sekilas ku terpandang mereka terubat juga hatiku.

Emak dan ayah kurang menyokong tindakanku untuk memelihara ikan sebagai binatang kesayangan tetapi aku berdegil juga, hahhaa seperti biasa aku meneruskan juga perjuanganku untuk mempunyai akuarium, jeng jeng jeng! Inilah mereka dan akuarium ku yg cantik berseri-seri bagai puan seri!

So how’s my Malay? Not that bad aye?

I know

I was driving and listening to Mix.fm, 80 km/hour on the road. Some old songs was playing, those 2003-2006 songs that I used to love to bits. It somehow stirred my emotions and my long frozen heart. Oh yes, one of the real reasons I quit blogging all these while was because I failed to really feel and gasp emotions, I was well… emotionless. If crap happens it happens, if shit occurs it occurs. I am sick of things but I refused to break down which leads to an easy solution; not giving a damn.

Back to main topic, yeah those stupid songs awakened me from my long absence. Which made me realized that people like me sometimes are afraid to feel emotions because they are still holding on to the past, old songs in my case reminded me of a lot of grieve. Grieve that only me as the bearer known off. Here I am writing shit that I myself am not sure that I would understand when I’m rereading it.

I know deep inside that I have to stop doing this to myself, as one of my best friend said; one day my depression will kill me if I don’t do something. Hell yes I know that and hell yes I want to stop feeling depressed but sometimes I don’t even know what I’m depressed about. Today dad gave me a new laptop, and I’m suppose to feel happy (any normal human would be happy I guess) instead I don’t feel anything. All I felt was.. well useless.

I had a conversation with this girl from work two days ago. She was telling me how exited she is about her new house and she was making plans to furnish it and I went like ok, now you got a place to fuck your boyfriend. I mean what the hell was that? Since when I became such an asshole. She gave me quite a stare and I didn’t even bother to say sorry.

I used to want so many things in life but now I am not sure I want those things anymore. I am reduced to just wanting to survive each day without breaking down and being in an emotional wreck. Today I went to a family gathering at my uncle’s place. Everyone was there, and then I saw my sick uncle with a patch on his right eye. Yes, his conditions had worsen and I knew he hasn’t got much time left yet I choose to just stay away and avoid him because I don’t want to feel hurt when he is gone. Yes, I’m selfish.

When my grandmother passed away, I didn’t shed any tears instead I took time to dress up and look good for her funeral. I told myself not to be sad or cry because I don’t want to feel that I had lost something. I hate that feeling.. loosing something. I had lost too many important things in life and I was always devastated when it happened. Yes, I’m being selfish by not wanting to feel.
Right now I’m staring at this post and I’m starting to see colors. Something exploded outside my house and my alarm was triggered. Time to stop.

Artistic Photoshot

I know that somehow this photo is a bit intriguing and somehow a bit doggy to the extend of gayness. Yes i know it all but somehow i am in my artistic mode at the moment so hahha i dont care. Time to do something out of the ordinary. Other than this picture i am planning to do a few series of other themed photos. Look out for it on my blog ya. Thanks!

medieval painting?

Barbaric

These are photos sent to me by my friend showing some "humans" eating babies and cutting them before processing them into food. What kind of human beings would do this to dead babies. So Barbaric.

EXPOSED

It took me ages to find this picture. This picture was shot during my holiday in Australia last year. In it are My sister, Krystyn and my self.

Cant find Krystyn? hahaha thats because she is in her "Koala bear mode"

ps: Krystyn don't kill me! it took me ages to find this picture of us!

This is delicious

These are some sort of maggots or I donno what to call them and they are disgusting. In other Asian countries they are actually fried and eaten as snacks but here in Malaysia they are fish food. Yum Yum best fried and buttered to perfection! Enjoy!

Weirdo

1st compensation . Here are some interesting pictures tributing my friend and to the weirdness of names. Credits to Ikea for creating such items