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Today will mark a full one year of my beloved God mother Jeannie Cheah Koo Yook Foong's departure home. It is something very hard for me to bear as the image of the day which she departed home was playing again and again in my mind like a slide show that never ends. But i know what to do, yes this is not a day that I should be depressed about this is the day for me to feel and truly embrace her loving memories. It is hard... going to the house without that usual shout calling me "SAIFUL!!!" from the computer, yes it is lonely at the house without the loud singing and sounds from the karaoke, yes it is rather dark at the house without those beautiful flickering tea light candles. Everything is hard but REAL.

Slowly I opened my special drawer, withdrew a small British India Jasmine candle, placed it on my double rounded tray and lit. This specific candle was mummy's favorite which later became my favorite as well. A tea light candle was placed by the window in my candle holder.

the candle

Later as the night drew late and the candles slowly burning away; its lights flickering, dancing shadows and my room filled with the aromatic smell of Jasmine, I smiled. My heart suddenly feels so warm, a familiar sense and feelings emerged... we all know why. No mater where she is now she will always have a special place in my heart. Mummy I miss you, we all do…

Flower by Kenzo

My body was pumping adrenalin, paces getting faster. Destination reached. MY GOD the q was so long i nearly lost my temper, but its a Sunday, long Qs at the ATM is a normal thing. Why am i being so impatient? Sigh.. i was making a purchase but the amount of the bill was beyond the limit of my card that i had set earlier. ( Changed the limit form 5k to 2k a week ago so that i can control my spendings). Bugger! i shouldn't have changed my limit! Here i am being embarrassed as my card was rejected queuing up to change the limit again. How foolish.

As my mind wonders around my skull, i smelled something very familiar, very comforting... It was KENZO FLOWER! Mummy's favorite perfume and my mother's most recent fav (her ultimate fav is Dior Dune and Estee Lauder's Pleasure). They were running a campaign for the perfume just a few meters from where i am standing. The new Campaign featured ShuQI as the model and there were Poppy flowers everywhere. So RED so beautiful.

the perfume

My turn finally came. HOW STUPID! this machine do not have the function to change limits! Argh!!!!!!! I withdrew cash instead. sigh... rushed to shop and paid the amount, then i went back again to the Kenzo Campaign and took these pictures.

The Poppy Chandelier and the flower beds


The Campaign

ps: I miss my mum and mummy :-(

Remembering Mummy

It was really funny how it all started. She was my junior, my enemy and at the same time my most qualified adversary in school. Then high school ended. We started to become closer, past the enemy-adversary stage and became close friends. Met her mother and it all begun. I can remember the first time I met her mother, at a water filter shop that I was working at that time. Normal customer-shop keeper relation.

Time passed and a birthday party celebrating her in The Red Box, Low Yat Plaza. Conversations, laugh and stories made us closer, closer to her heart closer to her family. I still remember when we were in the elevator at the end of this celebration, this woman whom I now called “mummy” told us something like this: “Saiful, friends come and go but good friends are hard to find”. Yes it is true. Period. This is not a post about my dearest best friend Krystyn but for her mother whom I called mummy, my god mother.

I would write a book if I could and I would write a journal to eternalise her legacy. Humbly, my English is not that good and my vocabulary are limited; my England as mummy would say is a far cry from perfection. However, this will not stop me. England or any other language is not a language of love but merely a transaction medium of feelings.

“I am not here to replace your mother but I am here to compliment her” that is what mummy is and that is what mummy did. She complimented the role of my own mother. Caring, loving me unconditionally, advised, scolded me, feed me, educated me and most of all took me in as a family.

Sigh… too many things to say, too many feelings to express if only words could permits and language could translate. Unfortunately it can’t. That warm feelings, that glow in my heart that love that I feel is not something that can be translated. This transaction medium failed me, but does this means my love for mummy failed me? No. it just meant that something big, sacred, pure and unconditional sometimes are best to be unexpressed. After all, Jeannie Cheah Koo Yook Foong(mummy) already knew.

click picture for direct link to http://www.cheahs.com/